Funny Kid’s Quotes

kid's quote about tooth fairy

Stories with funny kids quotes

POLICE OFFICER IN SCHOOL

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old.

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?”

“Yes,” I answered and continued writing the report.

“My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?”

“Yes, that’s right,” I told her.

“Well then,” she said as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”

POLICE DOG

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.

As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

“Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked.

“It sure is,” I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.

Finally he said, “What did the dog do?”

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to house-bound elderly people, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was always intrigued by the various gizmos older people always relied on, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered to me, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!”

PARENTS DRESS-UP FOR A PARTY

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.

When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”

FUNERAL FOR A ROBIN

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaaather… and unto the Sonnn… and into the hole he gooooes.”

FIRST WEEK IN SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school.

“I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother.

“I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”

THE BIBLE AND THE LEAF

A little boy opened the big family bible.

He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.

He picked up the object and looked at it.

What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Mama, look what I found”, the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?”

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

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God Offers His Commandments

Origin of the Ten Commandments

10 commandments written on stone tabletGod approached the Italians first to offer them his ten commandments.

“What commandments are you offering?” they asked.

He answered that one of them is, “Thou shalt not murder.”

They answered, “Sorry, we are not interested.”

Next he offered the ten commandments to the Romanian people.

“What commandments do you offer?” they said.

He replied one would be, “Thou shalt not steal.”

They answered, “Sorry, we don’t want them.”

Next he offered his list of ten commandments to the French people.

“What are your commandments?” they asked.

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife,” would be among them.

“Sorry, but we’ll pass on them,” they said.

Finally he approached the Jews on taking his ten commandments.

“How much do they cost?” they asked.

“They’re totally free,” he told them.

“We’ll take ten of them!”

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