Seventeen Laws of Nature

Conway's Law:
In any organisation, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired.

Finster's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Lynch's Law:
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

O'Reilly's Law of the kitchen:
Cleanliness is next to impossible.

First Rule of History:
History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

Oliver's Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Harrison's Postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Hanlon's Razor:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Green's Law of Debate:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Stewart's Law of Retroaction:
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Denniston's Law:
Virtue is its own punishment.

Gold's Law:
If the shoe fits, its ugly.

Muir's Law:
When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

Glyme's Formula for Success:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Mason's First Law of Synergism:
The one day you'd sell your birthright for something, birthrights are a glut.