Oxymoron Observations

• Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
• Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
• Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
• Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• How do I set my laser printer on stun?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
• If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
• If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
• If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?